I have been thinking a lot about this blog. I needed a place to just word vomit what was going through my head but even that was too messy. I needed a focus or a direction. While I was on vacation recently I had the best opportunity to be a mom to my little one. During this time I thought a lot about this blog. I decided that mommy-hood was going to be my focus.
Before I was a mom, my identity was solely based on my job. I didn't mind this at all. I was very proud of what I did every day and for the identity I was creating. I am still in the same field and proud of my career, but I am more proud of the mommy identity.
While on vacation I was with a very close friend for a day and she gave me the greatest compliment. She said that I was a good mom. It nearly brought me to tears. I appreciated it so much, I doubt she even knew how much.
Mommy-hood is hard. I am sure every mom out there would agree. Being a mom is a full time job and it is never perfect. Mom's don't get the praise and recognition they deserve on a daily basis. But in my opinion mom's don't do their tasks for these accolades.
In my situation I am a single mom of one. She is the highlight of my life and I am fortunate to have a great parenting partner in her dad. Our marriage ended nearly as soon as our parenting started. I have come to find that we make much better co-parents then man and wife.
There are a lot of things I miss about being married. Big things of course, but mostly little things. I miss going out to dinner/date, I miss celebrating anniversaries, hearing compliments, sharing the burden of aging parents, sharing the tasks around the house, sleeping in, and I am sure a thousand other things. There are few things that I no longer care about or worry about. Things like caring if my undies/bra match, if I'm late in getting a bikini wax, where things go around the house, negotiating through thermostat wars, etc.
I find it very empowering to take care of my home on my own. I do it for my own sanity and for my little one. I love to do things on my own, always have. I believe that I am setting an example for my child on how to be an independent person. I love my friends and the support they offer, but I also know that I am strong woman who gets the great privilege to do things my way.
I get to be the mom I want to be and the woman I want to be.
Let's start the journey.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Saturday, July 3, 2010
New Goal
FYI, my friend and I were talking a bit ago and my new goal is to run the Beat the Bridge next spring, but may need to modify that if all goes well in August. But still want to train for that effort. I envy all these folks that are joggers. I desire to be a jogger. Hmm, did I just say that? Yes, a jogger. I want to be a jogger. Looking for a plan and routine. Going to get there. If I can give birth with out drugs, I can do this! I know that they are not the same at all but you know what I mean.
Boring but had to get it out there
So far I am not the ultimate champion of my own issues, but I am getting there. Not so fixated on the scale or the mommy uniform, but could improve a few things.
Doing a good job of being active and I am trying to give myself a break a bit. My office has recently moved across campus and I am trying to take advantage of it. I have continued to park in my old lot near the old building and walk across campus to my new office, about 13 minutes. I pop in my iPod and go. If I have to stop at a crosswalk I do calf raises while I wait. Every day this kills but hopefully this is worth it.
I had to go by my new bus pass and decided to walk from the office during lunch time. With this walk and from/to my car I walked for 40 minutes!
This is just week one and I can't expect to see results over night, but I can stay on track.
My next goal is to get up early and work out before work. I need to get my ass on the treadmill. It is in Gabbi's playroom, and seriously why can't I work out while she plays. We could still engage and talk while we both do something we like.
It is just so hard to get up that early. Any tips?
Peace.
Doing a good job of being active and I am trying to give myself a break a bit. My office has recently moved across campus and I am trying to take advantage of it. I have continued to park in my old lot near the old building and walk across campus to my new office, about 13 minutes. I pop in my iPod and go. If I have to stop at a crosswalk I do calf raises while I wait. Every day this kills but hopefully this is worth it.
I had to go by my new bus pass and decided to walk from the office during lunch time. With this walk and from/to my car I walked for 40 minutes!
This is just week one and I can't expect to see results over night, but I can stay on track.
My next goal is to get up early and work out before work. I need to get my ass on the treadmill. It is in Gabbi's playroom, and seriously why can't I work out while she plays. We could still engage and talk while we both do something we like.
It is just so hard to get up that early. Any tips?
Peace.
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