How do you find a date post divorce? Many of my close to 30/never been married friends have done the online thing, but that just does not interest me.
How does one find a way to date without feeling awkward? I haven't dated since the 90's! Yes I am that old.
The last time I dated there was no Facebook, cell phones, or even text messaging. So the pressure is on.
I know that most of my "identity" is based on me being a mother, but as I mentioned, I am also a woman. I am only 32 and I have the rest of my life to live.
What have you done to meet that other soul mate?
I miss dating, even though it has been a long time. I miss talking about my day to another adult who genuinely cares and can comfort me when the day goes to hell. Or even the small things like cuddling before bed, holding hands while walking, or sharing dreams about the future. I miss going out for dinner without ordering from the kids menu or sharing my order with the kiddo.
I don't know if I will ever get married, but I hope that I find a partner that will support me as an individual and as a mother. I hope that I find a partner that will love me for being a strong woman, a motivated career woman, and a giving mom. But I guess I also have to put myself out there for that to happen.
I don't think I want to meet someone at a bar and I don't belong to a gym so how does this happen? Only time will tell. I you know someone who is single and won't just screw me over, send them my way. Feel free to hand out my number, email or other. I am open to finding someone to make plans with, not to marry. I am looking for someone to have fun with and enjoy life with. Keep me in mind!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Taking Care of Me
As mothers I think we often put ourselves last on our priority lists. We often are the ones that eat last, shower last, get updated clothes last and so on. We often feel guilty if we have the sitter or spouse watch the kiddo so you can go get your nails done or go to the gym or just go for an hour. We often rationalize ourselves out of buying something for ourselves because we know the kiddo or family needs something else. I can't tell you how many times I have used a gift card I received ends up going to buying something for my daughter or for the house.
Over the last few months I have spent a lot of time thinking about balance and how I can take care of myself too. I have learned that my taking care of some of my needs can enable me to pay even more attention to my family's needs. Now, I'm not suggesting going out every day or week for a day of beauty at a ritzy spa or anything like this, but take a few minutes out of each day to pay attention to you. Or take the time to review your monthly budget to see if you can budget in a Mommy Maintenance fund. This fund can go towards a mani/pedi, a new pair of shoes, a movie with some friends, new music from iTunes, or even some Kindle books. Whatever lets you relax or feel special about yourself.
I don't like to spend a lot of money on me and hate the guilt if I do even more. So I find ways to spend a bit of time on me with out spending a lot of money.
One way I love is taking care of my nails. Every month I crave a manicure and pedicure. I think that this comes from a time when I had acrylics and had my nails done every other week. So rather than spend the $60 plus tip every month I head to either Walgreens or Target and pick up one or two $2 nail polishes and spend a night giving my nails some TLC. This is also helpful from keeping me from snacking in front of the tv (yay!). In the end my nails look great, I have another color to add to the collection, and I didn't waste $58 or a few hours of time. This way I also don't come home with a ton of guilt weighing down my mani/pedi high.
I believe that I also have the opportunity to show my daughter that you can do small things for yourself and gain a great deal from it. I don't want her to grow up with this idea of entitlement or high maintenance.
Now don't get me wrong there one thing that I do believe that Mom's should do for themselves and only leave it up to the professionals and that is waxing. Any kind of waxing. If you continue to pluck your own eyebrows or shave your bikini line - stop. Go to a professional! They have been trained and are the experts. This is an added expense but it is so worth it. If you just get your eyebrows you only have to worry about maintaining the arch and can go once a month. If you get your bikini line done, go all year! Some women think that this is reserved for the months you actually wear a bikini or only if you are in a relationship where someone might actually see you naked, but I say false to both. This is also just for you. It is amazing how just 15 minutes of a bit of pain can make you feel sexy. Just think about it. Go online and Google some waxing boutiques. Don't just depend on the neon signs you see around the minimalls. I suggest going to a boutique that solely specializes in waxing.
So in a nutshell, don't just be a mom everyday. Remember that what made you a mom was the fact that you are a woman. You were a woman first and still are. Continue to be a woman. Again this sets you up to be a better mom, wife, partner, and role model.
Take care of you so that you can take care of everyone else!
Over the last few months I have spent a lot of time thinking about balance and how I can take care of myself too. I have learned that my taking care of some of my needs can enable me to pay even more attention to my family's needs. Now, I'm not suggesting going out every day or week for a day of beauty at a ritzy spa or anything like this, but take a few minutes out of each day to pay attention to you. Or take the time to review your monthly budget to see if you can budget in a Mommy Maintenance fund. This fund can go towards a mani/pedi, a new pair of shoes, a movie with some friends, new music from iTunes, or even some Kindle books. Whatever lets you relax or feel special about yourself.
I don't like to spend a lot of money on me and hate the guilt if I do even more. So I find ways to spend a bit of time on me with out spending a lot of money.
One way I love is taking care of my nails. Every month I crave a manicure and pedicure. I think that this comes from a time when I had acrylics and had my nails done every other week. So rather than spend the $60 plus tip every month I head to either Walgreens or Target and pick up one or two $2 nail polishes and spend a night giving my nails some TLC. This is also helpful from keeping me from snacking in front of the tv (yay!). In the end my nails look great, I have another color to add to the collection, and I didn't waste $58 or a few hours of time. This way I also don't come home with a ton of guilt weighing down my mani/pedi high.
I believe that I also have the opportunity to show my daughter that you can do small things for yourself and gain a great deal from it. I don't want her to grow up with this idea of entitlement or high maintenance.
Now don't get me wrong there one thing that I do believe that Mom's should do for themselves and only leave it up to the professionals and that is waxing. Any kind of waxing. If you continue to pluck your own eyebrows or shave your bikini line - stop. Go to a professional! They have been trained and are the experts. This is an added expense but it is so worth it. If you just get your eyebrows you only have to worry about maintaining the arch and can go once a month. If you get your bikini line done, go all year! Some women think that this is reserved for the months you actually wear a bikini or only if you are in a relationship where someone might actually see you naked, but I say false to both. This is also just for you. It is amazing how just 15 minutes of a bit of pain can make you feel sexy. Just think about it. Go online and Google some waxing boutiques. Don't just depend on the neon signs you see around the minimalls. I suggest going to a boutique that solely specializes in waxing.
So in a nutshell, don't just be a mom everyday. Remember that what made you a mom was the fact that you are a woman. You were a woman first and still are. Continue to be a woman. Again this sets you up to be a better mom, wife, partner, and role model.
Take care of you so that you can take care of everyone else!
Friday, January 7, 2011
Working Mommy
Back in October, my job ended and I started the ever challenging task of job searching. But during this time I have had the greatest opportunity to be at home with my daughter. I have said it many times, but she is my life's greatest achievement and I will never doubt that.
While I have cherished all of this time as a stay at home mom, I do miss working outside of the home. But often as I am doing my daily tasks or weekly errands I find myself asking, how am I going to get all this done, spend time with Gabbi, and work. I love working and I love being a very present mom and I only hope that I can find a balance when the time comes for me to go back to work.
As I continue to look for a job and continue to think positively about the search, I try to think of how I can install balance in my live when I go back to work. So far one of my favorite way is the weekly menu. I have tried this in the past for me when I used weight watchers, but now I look at it as a way to add order to my home. I sit down each weekend to create the weeks menu for Gabbi and I. This allows me to take the time to see what I currently have in the fridge and freezer. I was amazed how much I had in the freezer. Where did all this food come from? Anyhow, after some planning I also end up with my grocery list. With this in hand my experience at the grocery store also feels more meaningful. It actually feels like I accomplish more on the shopping excursion and it limits my impulse purchases to nearly zero.
So whether you are work out of the home mom or a work at home mom (or SAHM) try a weekly or monthly menu. They provide you with some direction when the kiddo is asking what is for lunch/dinner, provides direction down the grocery isle, and can even save you money.
Others will also suggest that you plan your meals while browsing through the Sunday grocery adds. I also suggest freezing portions of your yummy meals if you have made too much. It is easy to grab something to thaw in the morning and you won't be throwing out moldy leftovers because you forgot they were in the fridge.
One week in to the new year with this new menu plan and it feels great! For example, it was helpful when Nana asked what she should give my daughter for lunch and I just had to refer her to the menu on the fridge.
Watch out 2011, SuperMom is here!!
While I have cherished all of this time as a stay at home mom, I do miss working outside of the home. But often as I am doing my daily tasks or weekly errands I find myself asking, how am I going to get all this done, spend time with Gabbi, and work. I love working and I love being a very present mom and I only hope that I can find a balance when the time comes for me to go back to work.
As I continue to look for a job and continue to think positively about the search, I try to think of how I can install balance in my live when I go back to work. So far one of my favorite way is the weekly menu. I have tried this in the past for me when I used weight watchers, but now I look at it as a way to add order to my home. I sit down each weekend to create the weeks menu for Gabbi and I. This allows me to take the time to see what I currently have in the fridge and freezer. I was amazed how much I had in the freezer. Where did all this food come from? Anyhow, after some planning I also end up with my grocery list. With this in hand my experience at the grocery store also feels more meaningful. It actually feels like I accomplish more on the shopping excursion and it limits my impulse purchases to nearly zero.
So whether you are work out of the home mom or a work at home mom (or SAHM) try a weekly or monthly menu. They provide you with some direction when the kiddo is asking what is for lunch/dinner, provides direction down the grocery isle, and can even save you money.
Others will also suggest that you plan your meals while browsing through the Sunday grocery adds. I also suggest freezing portions of your yummy meals if you have made too much. It is easy to grab something to thaw in the morning and you won't be throwing out moldy leftovers because you forgot they were in the fridge.
One week in to the new year with this new menu plan and it feels great! For example, it was helpful when Nana asked what she should give my daughter for lunch and I just had to refer her to the menu on the fridge.
Watch out 2011, SuperMom is here!!
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