When I decided to start a family I knew that I was going to be a working mommy. I was very okay with this. I never really was drawn to the concept of being a stay at home mom. I do admire the women I know who are a SAHM and at times was a bit envious. SAHM moms always seem busy with domestic duties, kid duties, and family adventures. It does look great, but I am just not made for it. I even admit that I couldn't even enjoy my maternity leave with out the help of my Blackberry that kept me connected with work.
However, last fall I was given the gift of time and while I searched for a new job, I got to be a stay at home mommy. Apparently, God said it was time for me to be at home with my daughter. A kind of parental "stop and smell the roses" push. While unemployment is scarier than many things in life, it was the break that I needed. I have been working non-stop since Junior year in college. Even when I moved to Seattle, I left UofI on the 14th and started the new job on the 17th, only taking the weekend to move across the state.
My time off work was filled with lots of mother/daughter time. She became my little side kick even more so. I love the time we spent exploring. I also had a great time helping in her classroom. I cherished the fact that I got to spend all day with her, and not just the couple of hours between me getting home and bed time.
But I knew it had to come to an end at some point. I knew that I could only sustain being a SAHM for a short time, let's be real - unemployment checks do not provide stability long term. So the job search was continuous and it finally paid off with a great job offer exactly 6 months from the day I left UW. God said it was time to get back to work!
My daughter is having a little be of a hard time with me going back to work. Every morning she asks me if I have to go to work that day, hoping for a different answer. When i tell her, yes I do, she gets very teary and sad. It does break my heart every time, but I just remind her that mommy's and daddy's have to work so that we can go on adventures on the weekends, and to pay for the home we live in and for the things around us. She understands but that doesn't me she likes it.
For now I am a working mom and am proud to be able to provide for my family in this way. I don't think that will ever change, but hopefully my job will allow me to take off every now and then to give her a different answer when she asks, "do you haaaavvvve to go to work today?"
I enjoyed the time I got to spend with my little girl immensely and am so thankful.
